so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
