I wish I could punch you in the face.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
