I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
