i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
