Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
