I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
