My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
