shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
