I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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