No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
