My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
