Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
