I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
