i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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