She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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