and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
