God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
