Got a toothbrush?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just found puke in my bra..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
