He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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