It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize