I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
