she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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