Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
