Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
