White coat. Heels.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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