You just made me feel so damn special
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
