I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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