The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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