Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
