I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
