I must be too annoying 4 u.
Non-Jews are for practice
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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