He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How does it feel to date your dad?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
