apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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