my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize