Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize