shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Let's get the cat blown out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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