you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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