You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Pooping to opera.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
