The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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