4 words: hood of his car
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I need water and some morals
Randomize
