a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
