Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
