smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
