Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
