she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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