i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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