Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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