so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
