i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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