i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
