Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your cock deserves a montage
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize