that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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