hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize