dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
