I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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