You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
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