we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
