I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
